JOKE, a secondary school teacher married to James for close to 19 years tried not to raise her three children the way she’d been raised. “My father was very authoritarian and we were all in awe of him He was such a bully that mum dared not cross him. Prospective girlfriends and boyfriends were met furtively behind their parents back, because whenever dad cottoned on to any of the children being ‘toasted’ there would be hell to pay.

“After I graduated from the university, I worked briefly in a private secondary school before I founded my own nursery and primary school. All my four children went to private schools and when Tolu, my eldest daughter was 16, I discovered she had a boyfriend. I encouraged her to bring him home, but what I didn’t know then was that he was 22 not 17 as I’d been told and an undergraduate. I was a bit concerned that he was older, but Tolu was besotted. I had taught her right from wrong and hoped she would be sensible enough not to let things go too far.

“The change in her was gradual at first. She started wearing provocative clothes and lots of make up. She became secretive and at times, was downright rude, but I wrote it off as just normal teenage behaviour. Then one Saturday night she didn’t come home. She told me she was going out with friends, but when she wasn’t home by 1a.m., I was beside myself with worry. ‘Where have you been?’ I screamed when she eventually rolled home in the early hours and we had a blazing row, followed by lots of tears when I slapped her out of anger and frustration.

“Sadly, that was only the beginning. A few months later, her principal called me to ask why Tolu had been missing classes. I’d had no idea and when I challenged Tolu about it later, she looked terrified – then she broke down in tears and I learned the awful truth, she told me she had been sleeping with her boyfriend and that he’d also encouraged her to have sex with his much older friends and an uncle. The heart-wrenching fact was that she was also encouraged to do drugs. ‘I didn’t know what was going on’, she told me sadly, ‘most of the time I was out of it on drugs’. I couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t she tell me? One minute she had been my little girl, the next she was drugged up, having sex with strange men.

If you’re wondering why the police are not cracking down on these predators turning young girls into sex objects, here is what a top police spokesman has to say: under-aged girls selling sex on the streets is a real concern, but what worries me most is the number of girls being sexually exploited in private homes. This is on the rise and although we know who some of the perpetrators are, we can’t bring charges without the girls’ consent. The girls are willing partners to begin with, but they soon find they’re being sexually exploited. The men who control them have a lot to lose and are highly manipulative to protect themselves.

“We view the prostitution of under aged girls as child abuse, which is also how it is regarded by the law. We work to protect children and ensure abuses are caught and protected. We also welcome the changes now being considered by the law which will strengthen cases against sex offenders and reform the law on sexual offences by imposing longer sentences.”

In Honour of Single Mums!

Single mums can sometimes feel that every problem in society – from increased violence to emotionally stunted, under-achieving offspring – is laid at their door. But it’s not all doom and gloom. Here are five reasons experts give for single mums to be cheerful…

A child happy with one loving parent:- Living with both parents isn’t as important to a child’s happiness as having one person who loves him unconditionally. So, if your ex is no longer in control, you can make up for his absence. And if your relationship was difficult, your child could be better off with just you. Research shows it’s the children of parents who stay together despite constant conflict who suffer the most damage.

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